Today is my 45th Birthday. Yay, I made it through 45 whole years of my life. How do I feel? Do I feel old and grey and wrinkly?

Not on your life!

Today is the beginning of our second week of not smoking! Yahoo and Amen to that. I have been extraordinarily lucky in that I have not suffered a single craving since the very first day! I’m astounded by the calm person I’ve become. Sure I’m on powerful painkillers, and this is having a very relaxing effect on me, but to not have a single craving? I feel as though every cloud has a silver lining. I’m in lots of pain every day, and life is not exactly business as usual, but in the most positive way this has helped me to kick a life-long disgusting habit! I was telling Fitty yesterday that I feel like I never did smoke!

My son, 3 and “the nut”, (girlfriend of 2/3yrs?), came to visit yesterday. I was so moved by their visit, they normally squabble like a pair of two year olds, wrestling on the couch and telling each other off. Yesterday they were the calmest I have ever seen them. I don’t know what’s going on, but I pray it continues?

I have grown so fond of the nut! She’s a tiny dynamo of energy, sometimes says the most ridiculous things, but she is almost always laughing and smiling. I feel really comfortable with her, and from the first moment I met her, I hoped she would be “the one” for him. For all the squabbling, she “fits” into our family so well, it’s like she’s always been here.

Yesterday we both were on the couch, out of action, (as she had decided it was a great idea to dance around the camp fire New Years Eve), and has burned her poor little foot badly. So we sat and we talked and we laughed. These bonding sessions are so important to me! I longed for a daughter all my life and now I am lucky enough to have three beautiful step-daughters, and 3 and 5’s  lovely girlfriends. Just goes to show that if you wait and hope long enough for something, you might just get it in the most wonderful and unexpected way.

I love my girls to bits, and I never stop thinking how lucky I am, how good it feels to be with them, and how much joy they bring to Fitty and I.

7 and I had a lovely afternoon, Fitty had to go into town and do some things, and 7 and I had a long afternoon of chats, cooking, and laughter. I was trying to make a vegetable pattie using pumkpin, grated vegies and egg, and not using flour! This is harder than it sounds, and I didn’t consult a recipe, just invented the whole thing in my head, thinking it would work. Today I will look for a proper recipe, as we nearly got it right. They just wouldn’t hold together well enough to cook. I tried adding grated cheese and another egg, but no luck. 7 and I gave up and threw the rest of the mixture into a cake tin and baked it in the bench-top oven. Came out ok in the end, like a big fritter. Fitty thought it was great! I was really surprised when 7 ate it and liked it, she’s not really a pumpkin lover, and I’m thrilled to see her trying my diet on for size. She’s a little concerned about how much junk she’s going to have access to, so I reassured her that she would still be allowed to have “treats”, but that we were just trying to get the whole family to eat a healthy diet and eliminate all the chemicals we have been eating that are just not doing us any good. At 12, she’s old enough to appreciate the sentiment, but young enough to still want the gooodies.

So today will be a lovely day of friends and family dropping by, and tonight we have decided to actually go out! I’m pretty excited as I have been nowhere but hospital and the pharmacy for weeks on end. I feel like a few hours out will do me good, and I may just treat myself to a piece of lean chicken. Mmmmn, yep, that’s enough motivation for me.