In this day and age it is usual to see dad out and about with the kids shopping, doing the school runs, cooking, cleaning and basically sharing the household tasks. If you are an enlightened male, then you probably do all these things and more without even thinking. You expect no credit, and you don’t think the situation is unusual or unfair. With a majority of households now depending on both parents salaries to meet the cost of living, it has been necessary for these changes to occur, but just how far does this exchange or sharing of traditional roles go in YOUR household?

Growing up, my own father was a businessman, and my Magoo (Mum), a traditional housewife. She cared for the home and family of six children, and he brought home the bacon, so to speak. I can only remember a few times Dad was physically involved in my upbringing, and most of these were a bit later on in life. He was an authority on everything, a charming and extremely intelligent man. A success in most everything he did. Magoo was a great mother, kept the house rigidly tidy, cooked all our meals and snacks, and taught us art, music and humor. When it came time to raise my own family, these traditions were so ingrained that I didn’t know a different way. Then I met Fitty…

Fitty is an enlightened male. He has always been the most domesticated man I have ever known. Watching him with his children over the past 24 years or so has instilled in me the respect I will have for him forever. It’s been a joy to share the tasks of homemaking with him and our family.

However, Fitty’s standards are a little lower than mine. I cannot count the number of times I have put the milk away after him, as one does get sick of that sour taste in coffee, and I’m always putting food back in the fridge. He will leave food out for hours! Hasn’t he heard of bacteria? Food poisoning?

I love and appreciate all the things he does, but I just find myself doing them again most of the time. Not everything as he  cleans quite well, but he’ll use the same cloth to clean and then wash up. This just drives me crazy! I keep telling myself how lucky I am, again and again, but this mile high standard that I have is not easily met. I literally have to stop myself from re-hanging an entire line of clothes, just because he hasn’t done them the way I would have. I constantly ask him if he washed the vegies, (have eaten enough dirt thanks!)

I wish I could just relax and stop being such a control freak. You can’t have it both ways. I have discovered, either you accept the help, or you get stuck doing it all yourself!

Is any one else out there an ungrateful B like me?

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