OMG! this is good!

OMG! this is good!

8 bites into lush apple pie!

8 bites into lush apple pie!

Speaks for itself?

Speaks for itself?

Yesterday was a strange day. I was defiant, and cranky and felt like throwing myself at the wall. So I did, kind of.

7 had been invited to a surfing day with some new friends from her school, so Fitty and I and the boys decided to head down the beach mid-morning to check it out. Yes it was my idea, and yes 7 was with a parent we didn’t know so I wanted to make sure she was ok. Call me paranoid but the child is only 12 years old. Turns out the other parent had decided that it was FINE for the girls to hang around unsupervised for 5 hours at the beach!

We drove down and Fitty 6 and 8 headed for the skate bowl and I ducked across the road to pop a script into the chemist. There I met 7, her friends and the new friends’ parent, who informed me of the plan. I was slightly caught off guard, as this isn’t something I would have allowed a 12 year old to do. I said we’d check it out with Fitty, but that I understood that we were there to pick 7 up? I was very confused and a bit upset that if we hadn’t gone down to the beach, this other parent wouldn’t have informed us at all that 7 was unsupervised by an adult at a busy tourist spot. (I might add this was also a place where 2 teenage girls were abducted and murdered several years ago.)

Yeah, I’m paranoid, I’m over-protective. It’s true. I have an unbelievable amount of fear for the unknown things that can happen. I am scared that the minute I turn my back, a car will come along and wipe out a kid. If I leave them unsupervised, they will be abducted or end up with a needle sticking out of their arm. I’m not insane, and I do allow myself to be talked into not being so frightened. But I was still pissed off that this parent was making assumptions that we would allow 7 this much freedom. We (all the parents involved), talked it over and decided it would be ok. But I wasn’t ok at all….

Once I’m pissed off about something, one of two things happen. I get over it or I don’t.

I didn’t. I was upset. I was cranky, and most of all I was worried about 7. I remembered 7’s mother at the same age, (12) and became even more frightened!! It’s one thing to raise your own  children and have all this stuff to deal with, but when you think about step children, you have a whole other parental unit to worry about. Just exactly what values and morals are they getting at the “other” home? What ideals are they absorbing from the other people in their lives? I know my ex is not always a model parent! I’m not saying I’m perfect or anything, I just seem to need to worry endlessly about the kid’s safety, and what’s going on in their heads.

We (I) decided we’d all have lunch at the beach, and the whole time I searched for 7 and her friends. “Is that them, there in the water?” Needless to say, we knew where she was and that she was “safe”. Fitty is used to me being paranoid and over protective and does his best to reassure me that things will be ok. It helps, but because I was upset I decided to eat something nasty….

Off to the bakery we went, where 6, 8 and I indulged our sweet tooth for the first time (in my case), for literally months! 6 and I had a chocolate eclair each, and 8 had an apple pie, hold the cream. (I love that he didn’t have cream, shows he is making smarter food choices all on his own, even when he has a free pass for a cheat!) I was unable to finish my eclair, it seemed to stick in my throat. 6 was more than happy to eat it for me. But it didn’t stop there.

Later in the evening Fitty made the kids and himself spaghetti bolognese, one of my faves, and I tried not to have it. I did. Really. I was going to have an avocado, but when I cut it up it was hard in the centre! I was so hungry I just had a little of the sauce and a tiny bit of pasta.

So, how did that all work out for me you ask?

I am paying, (and then some) for my day of excess. I didn’t believe that a little jump off the wagon, could result in such pain. My tummy ached, waking me every few hours. Just goes to show that eating healthy is an addiction my body is unwilling to give up! Oh yeah, and my toothache came back. Yeah, the one I haven’t heard from since I changed my diet? Well it came back last night just to teach me a lesson. “Stay away from that crap” it said.

And I listened good….

Does my bum look big in this?

Does my bum look big in this?

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