Please be careful with your Valentine. Age may cause fragility and tearing around the edges. For the best possible productivity and longevity of your Valentine, keep clean and in good order. Replace in original box and in good working condition after each use. Clean all parts properly, before storage. Ensure your Valentine’s parts are replaced when needed with authentic parts. Keep original instructions for referral or re-sale.

It’s all very well to laugh now isn’t it?

When I think back to how I used to look and feel when I got my first Valentine, I could just cry. That first boyfriend, well I was going to marry him and have hundreds of beautiful children, all extremely talented and beautiful. We would live in a divine house and it would have a gorgeous garden, full of the things that every young child dreams of. (Read everything I didn’t have growing up!)

Aha now here I sit, in a shack that needs bulldozing, surrounded by dry bush ready to explode into flame at the first spark! My family are of course all talented and beautiful, but I cannot take all the credit for making them that way. My partner (husband, did someone say husband??) I don’t think so, you see that’s against his beliefs, not to mention illegal as he still hasn’t gotten around to divorcing his first wife!!!

You could probably guess that Valentines Day means diddly-squat to someone like me? I suppose so, but secretly, in a dark little corner of my mind, where the cobwebs haven’t yet got to, I remember how it used to be on Valentine’s Day. Before I became jaded and divorced. Before the kids grew up to tell me how dissatisfied they are with my mothering, (5!) and by the way could I please throw $50 bucks their way, again. I remember that I had dreams, and they were big!

As a Capricorn my ambitions never dwelled in the area of work, I never wanted to become the C.E.O. of anything, except of course my own family. Dreams are funny things aren’t they? Sometimes they keep you dangling there, wishing they’d just let you go dammit! And sometimes they all seem to come true at once.

At this point in life I can honestly say, that my childish dreams are in the past. My wish now is for health and good times, for my wrinkles to point up and not down! For our children to have bigger dreams than we ever did, for them to grow wings and escape.