I am positively elated to hear that things are finally looking good for me. Pause and just let me say that again…….things are finally looking good for me!!

Fitty and I have returned from Sydney somewhat triumphantly this time. No tears of frustration. (Well a few, but that was mainly the Sydney traffic!!) And Fitty only cried for a minute…..he pulled himself together pretty quickly really.

My Surgeon has told me that I am looking good for a final operation on June 21st. Extraordinarily happy with this news, (even though it means taking another huge wack of pain and recovery time), it will mean that at some point in the future, God willing, I will be healed. Life will be normal again, provided I take care of myself and the problem doesn’t recur. Only time will tell.

I had begun to feel very negatively before my post-op visit to Sydney, as things seemed to be getting so much worse. One night I had a rather big bleed, and I stressed about returning to hospital. I knew once it stopped that I was ok. I really didn’t want to go back into hospital to be kept away from the family for yet another few days, when I could just stay home and monitor the situation here. So I went to the G.P instead, who actually agreed that I’d done ok in deciding not to go. I can look after myself well, and I do know what I’m doing after all these months.

I’ve also been suffering a little bit of increased pain these last few weeks. So when Fitty and I went into the Surgeons office, the last thing we expected to hear was, “Great, I’ve been waiting to hear that!”

Apparently increased pain and bleeding in my circumstance, are a good sign of healing. So finally my body has recovered enough for the surgical remedy.

Before I went away I told friends, family and workmates that I probably would get told once again, that I wasn’t ready for the surgery. I had no idea that my worsening condition was actually a good sign? So I have come back with good news and lots of positive energy. I jokingly told the guys at work, “so if you see me on the ground writhing in pain surrounded by blood? Great! I’m healing!”

To be honest, I can’t wait to reclaim my former life and energy levels. It’s been so hard these last 7 months. On the outside I look like a normal healthy person, (most days anyway), but on the inside I’m a mess of pain and conflicting emotions. I try not to let the pain show. I try and act as if nothing bothers me, and then sometimes I just let it all out in one big emotional burst. I can’t help it. The pain builds and builds until I go crazy, and I can no longer hide it inside. Luckily Fitty understands what I’m going through. I have explained to him how I hide the pain until it gets too much. He has been such a good support to me, but I think that because I put on such a good act, he sometimes forgets what I’m going through.

Having survived the past 7 months as a couple, I am pretty sure we  can handle anything together. We have already proven that 8 kids, 2 jobs (with totally conflicting hours), an impending renovation project, completely bitter ex’s and teenagers can’t hurt us! Not that I’m tempting fate to throw another challenge our way. I think we’ll have our hands full with the kitchen reno! I just hope he has enough patience left to get us both through those tough few weeks after the surgery!!

Lake shack living is pretty cruisy otherwise. The benefits of having a bitumen road are so major. I’ve stopped whining about the road dust everywhere and noticed a new demon in the house. The surface crap monster!

I swear this family is doing it on purpose. Have I mentioned my hatred of bobby pins on this blog yet? Can’t remember, but let it be known that if I find one more bobby pin lying around I may just explode!

7 uses them for some inexplicable reason, one or two at a time. But never at the same time. So they multiply around the house until they are laying on every available surface! Why oh why can she not just put them on the dressing table or vanity at night, and use the same ones again the next day? It’s not rocket science?

Plus there’s the every day crap. Lego pieces. Magnet toys. Print out this piece of crap from the computer and use all the tape we have to stick it together toys. I could go on and on, but I think you get the drift. Fitty and the kids don’t put their  crap away!

Today I have left notes around the house. Simple messages like. “Hi. I’m a FRUIT bowl. So don’t put your freakin crap in me!” Also, “STOP! Don’t put that buttery knife in here!” (This one is on the vegemite jar.) I drew the line on a note for the crumbie butter container. You just know sometimes which fights are un-winnable.