Here I am. Months after surgery, and about 3 months actually “well”.

It took a long time to recover, mostly due to every medical practitioner I was treated by, failing to recognize the actual problem. That being a foreign object in my body. Still not sure how it got there, unwilling to find out really. Can’t trust those guys to find they’re own a’holes!

I will simply state that I cannot believe that I was operated on numerous times, said foreign object masquerading as “swelling”, “scar tissue”, “don’t know” and “it’ll go down eventually” depending on which “professional” was speaking at the time.

I was probed, cut open, fed antibiotics, cut open again, more antibiotics, more surgical drains, more serious antibiotics, cut open again and yet again!

I just wasn’t healing? I suffered through so much unnecessary pain, and as it turns out a few unnecessary operations too.

I was asked stupid questions by a night nurse such as, “how come my other patient, (who has had similar surgery), isn’t in as much pain as you?”

Seriously. I was supposed to be able to answer that?

It was because the other bloody patient didn’t have a freaking foreign object in her body that STILL hadn’t been detected.

Honestly! An MRI, and 6 Ultrasounds couldn’t enlighten these people?

Enough of my bitterness. This story had a happy ending and the engineer of that happiness was myself.

On a particularly painful morning in December last year, my body decided that expulsion of this object was long overdue. It had been almost 13 months since my first symptoms appeared. Whatever this object is, (I still have it, and one day may meet someone I trust to look into it), it is not something I can easily explain.

I know what it isn’t.

It isn’t made of plastic, glass or stone and therefore is not something I ingested accidentally.

It isn’t an Alien Probe or any kind of Alien Device, (thankyou Fitty, Family and Workmates, everyone has a sense of humour huh)?

It isn’t something I can easily associate with any event, accident or moment in my life.

It’s a mystery, and one I am prepared to put to bed in the interest of just getting on with my life happy and well.

In other news, Fitty and I have become lackadaisical about anything reno. One day we will have a new kitchen. One day we will renovate the rest of the house. One day we will. One day…..?

I believe we are both suffering a little P.T.S.D. and would just like a little bit of free time to not have to deal with anything too serious.

Instead of renovating the kitchen, we took the kids on their long awaited Gold Coast, Queensland holiday. It was also the first time-off I’ve had from work where I wasn’t unwell or having an operation, needless to say we all had a very well deserved and fun break. Full of Theme Parks, laughter, Fitty and I losing our shit in airports, sun, surf and the inevitable cry of “shark!!”

Re the Airport? It has crossed my mind more than once that I should have consulted my “monthly calendar”, as the combination of my (very uncalled for) P.M.S. and Fitty’s dodgy impersonation of a middle aged man with early onset dementia did not bode well for our trip.

Imagine a troop of us reeling from baggage trying in vain to keep up with “dodgy bloke” who has decided to shriek, “That’s our  bus! RUN!!” Randomly I might add, whenever he saw any vehicle that resembled an airport transfer bus!

After 4 km’s of running up and down the airport we finally arrived back at the place we were supposed to be and caught our bus! By this stage Fitty and I were hissing and spitting at each other like a pair of feral cats. The children rolling their eyes and sighing, the inevitable had happened, and we hadn’t even arrived at our accommodation yet!

Happily I met my sister for drinks early in the holiday, and being able to slink off on my own and get drunk improved my state of mind immeasurably. The rest of the holiday played out like a Griswold Family Movie, which is just the style we’re used to coping with, and so contentment ensued.

Hopefully (now that I’ve wet my toe again), in WordPress World, you’ll be hearing from me again soon.