Whenever I see one of these lists I get excited. Maybe I’ve been reading a blog for a while, really enjoying a person’s writing and then they post one of these “Things you didn’t know” lists. It allows a glimpse into the life and mind of the writer, and to me, makes the writer more familiar, like a friend.

I am ignoring the narcissistic implications of posting such a list by deciding you are all as nosey as I am, and will enjoy reading the list as much as I would enjoy reading yours!

So here goes, a list of stuff you never asked for:

  1.  I love Cheese. Cheese and Watermelon. If I ever get shipwrecked I will need a cow and a watermelon seed.
  2. I have known Fitty most of my life, he was always my best male friend, and get this, we had NO IDEA what was in our future…
  3. I blog because I’m not quite ready to write the book inside me. I have had one hell of a life, and every time I get telling someone about it they always say “OMG you should write a book!”
  4. I am absolutely thrilled when someone uses the word “cunt” appropriately. People are just so tied up with being offended these days!
  5. I’m a bit of a cunt…
  6. If it pops into my head, 9 times out of 10 it’s gonna pop outta my mouth. I am known as “Brutal Truth” amongst friends.
  7. Soft on the inside, tough on the outer, I pretend to have the courage, until I have the courage.
  8. I cry at the slightest provocation. Usually happy tears.
  9. I’m fussy as FUCK. Wash your hands! Don’t lick your fingers! Get off my clean pillow case! Shoes off the lounge!
  10. I have been surrounded by a group of the funniest, strongest and most loving female friends for almost 30 years and I would do anything for any one of them.
  11. I have an actual photo of David Bowie who is my hero.
  12. Queen. The band. Awesome. The day Freddie died, a little part of me broke forever.
  13. Procrastination is my middle name.
  14. I actually like people who are difficult and say what they mean. In a new job I have always befriended the assholes first. Then everyone tells me they’re assholes and I’m all….. “but I like them?”
  15. I can remove a 3 inch spider from your bedroom wall, but moths fluttering near my face freak me the fuck out.
  16. I spend waay too much time on the internet.
  17. I spend waay too much time storing memes for future rapid-fire comebacks.
  18. In my 20’s I had boob issues, (not big enough). In my 30’s I had butt issues, (too big). In my 40’s I have major issues with 20 and 30 something’s not loving their bodies…
  19. I am super excited when my blog post goes up and people like it and comment. So if you liked it and you read it, and you want me to know that, don’t be shy… kay?