There was a lot of talk around town about how Fitty and I got together, particularly among the oldies. (Hers, mine and ours.) I can only speak for myself and tell the truth about that. For the oldies in particular I’m sure the way events have unfolded has been substantial enough to correct past judgement.

How did two friends end up living together in domestic bliss with 8 children?

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Our 10 year anniversary is coming up at the end of the month and I decided that our story was long overdue in the telling. We have a long history and although not all of the story is mine to tell, I’ve decided to do the fairest most honest and politically correct version to protect the people I want to protect, and an open slather style character assassination of those I don’t wish to protect.

Obviously nobody can have a real name so for the purpose of this story and the new characters being introduced here’s the code.

  • Fitty has 5 kids, I have 3 boys. 1-8 in order of age.
  • 1,2,4,7&8 are Fitty’s and 3,5&6 are my boys.
  • FW Fitty’s wife and mother of older children 1 2 & 4
  • OM other mother is 7&8’s mum
  • He who used to be is my kids dad 3,5,&6
  • Catshit is my ex-husband

You’re going to need the above code more than once, trust me! When I write a story about my life I find it very hard to keep up a comprehensive narrative, so forgive me if I forget to fill in some blanks here and there.

Fitty and I both carried a lot of baggage into our relationship, along with enough children to either make or break us. Times were pretty tough in the beginning.

Fitty and I have been good friends for a long time. I met him in late 1984 in Canberra where he was living with FW. My boyfriend at the time was a friend of his and suggested a weekend away with them. I spent the whole time admiring their relationship. They got along very well and were a beautiful couple. Fun to be with. I liked them a lot and was pleased to see them at various parties and events. Eventually they married and moved back to the area we all live now.

Around the same time Fitty and FW got married I was living in Qld with a stone cold maniac. We often traveled home to visit  our group of friends, 8 or so of us including Fitty and FW.

Note: There is more to the maniac story but I’m not ready… It pretty much all started there with him – the denial, depression, lack of self worth and direction that lead me to several other relationships which created the same feelings over and over. At least I was strong enough to leave eventually. A lot of women aren’t and are still dealing with those demons on a daily basis. My heart is heavy for those women as I know how hard it is to pick yourself up when you believe you are nothing.

Confession: One night when I was around 21, the maniac and I were home for Easter and I can remember staring at Fitty across the room and thinking very naughty thoughts... “God he’s gorgeous, she’s so lucky” thoughts. Not I’m going to fuck you thoughts. Years later we spoke about it, and Fitty said he remembers that night and feeling “awkward as fuck!” haha ^^not a slut^^

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You would have stared at him too – Fitty (baby 1) and I – my last visit home before I moved back.

Over the years our friendships grew, and when I moved back home after fleeing the maniac followed by a brief and sweet affair with a young man who gifted me a love child (3) we became a tight knit group. FW became one of my closest friends and we spent a lot of time together during my first pregnancy along with Shaz  who was also one of the group. They were my baby daddies, accompanied me to birth classes, coached me through labor and were among the first to welcome 3 to the world. We helped each other raise our babies and young children, getting together up to 3 times a week as a group. We were very happy and close friends (which included a few of Fitty’s school mates and spouses.) I was the “single mother” under everyone’s wing. It was all perfect and perfectly innocent.

Before I became pregnant with my second child I did daycare and looked after Fitty’s kids. He would bring the younger two around for a whole day once a week. His eldest child 1 was already at school. I guess during this time Fitty and I became a lot closer. We used to have a coffee and chat on those afternoons when he’d pick the kids up. We have always gotten along well and Fitty was always first to offer his help when the kids and I had to move house or fix something around the house.

(He who used to be is not 3’s bio-dad but is considered in all ways his father) – By this stage I was living with my kids dad and there is no way I thought any inappropriate thoughts. I was flat out trying to sort truth from fiction in ‘talk around town’ about He who used to be. He was sleeping with his ex wife. He was sleeping with that girl at the pub. He was sleeping with anything that moved.. but had a logical habit of sleeping with those who lived on his route home from the pub.

I was devastated by his betrayal. I loved this man so much for almost no fucking reason that I can discern now. I was well entrenched in an abuse pattern by then and he was just another taker. We had a fairly rough time having the boys, a time in which we lost our baby son. It was the most vulnerable period of my life, yet he still found it easy to sleep around and leave me to cope with most things by myself. My friends were an absolute lifeline.

When baby 6 came along all things became a lot better for me, but not so much for He who used to be as I’d had a lot of time to think while I was in hospital (for months with premature 6.)

One of my fave photo’s….the baby has a black eye – courtesy of 5 who is oblivious to normal posing for the camera. There is a theme here, three of us are connected to the rest of the room, and two are in their own worlds!

I left him and shit hit so many fans at once it defies belief.

Over the years Fitty and FW had separated as well. She had a new boyfriend and she and I still saw a lot of each other. Fitty was fairly miserable and I saw a lot of him as well. I’d always spent time with them both separately as well as together so not much changed for me when they broke up, but I was devastated by their split. Theirs had always been a relationship I respected. I was upset for them and for the kids.

FW will tell you that an affair ended her marriage. I can confirm that – yes is was an affair that ended her marriage. But was it Fitty and I who wrecked her life? The truth is…

I reckon they’d been split for about 2-3 years when I turned 30. I had a birthday party. Fitty, FW and the new boyfriend were all there. FW and boyfriend bailed early, and Fitty, myself and some other parents put the kids to bed in the back bedrooms. There were lots of people drinking and many had decided to spend the night on the lounge room floor. I crawled into bed by myself around 3am.

Fitty gave me a pot plant for that birthday. Nearly 18 years later I still have that plant. It is the only plant I have ever kept alive for more than a few years.

Confession: At some stage in the wee hours Fitty crept into my bed and made awkward drunk love to me. I can remember being horrified and filled with lust at the same time. The following morning when I awoke to find he made a bottle of formula (as he knew I couldn’t breastfeed with booze boobs) and brought baby 6 and the bottle to hungover me in bed – then I knew I loved him. ^^shit slut^^

How horrible. What a mess. What had I done?


If you want to find out what happens next check back here tomorrow to find out:

Who the fuck is Catshit?

What happened with FW?

and

Why can’t I write a short story?

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