Archives for posts with tag: stepdaughter

I have been in hospital, and was just browsing through my reader catching up on my favorite girls, Patty, Laurie and Joey’s latest posts, when I noticed Joey had been awarded a “Shine On” Award from a fellow blogger. Knowing she deserved this honour, I continued reading excitedly, and then stopped cold when I realized she was nominating ME. Fancy that?

I don’t know exactly how these things work, but I think I’m meant to nominate this award onwards as well!

I’m supposed to nominate my favorite 15 bloggers and answer a few questions, so here we go:

AThankfullyImperfectWoman

Life on the Bike and other Fab Things

Sethsnap

MyLores.com

Bucket List Publications

whatImeant2say

The Top 10 of Anything and Everything

About The Children LLC’s Blog

Simple Pleasures

Eye Dancers

Raising 5 Kids with Disabilities and Remaining Sane Blog

Cristian Mihai

Lilacs and Linens

John Mitchell

Cancerkillingrecipe

Well that’s 15 of my favorite bloggers right there. A very varied bunch if I may say so, designed to tickle any fancy I may be needing at various times of my day or week. All of them inspiring, funny, creative and awesome.
Now for these questions:
1. How did you choose names for your children?
For my eldest son I chose the names Elliot James. I was entranced as a teen by the movie E.T. and the way he would say “Ell-i-yot”.
I would sometimes talk to my belly, as I guessed he was a boy early on, and call him Ell-i-yot in the same way.
My second son was named Jacob Patrick. I loved the story of the Biblical Jacob, who was born holding the heel of his older brother, his twin, Esau. Patrick after my eldest brother.
My final son was named Dale Micheal. Dale after a lady I met in hospital whilst having him, who struck me as a most kind soul, and Micheal after a dying friend.
I had a wee son between Jacob and Dale, all through the early pregnancy we called him Jimmy, unfortunately we lost him at 25 weeks. We would have celebrated his 17th birthday yesterday.
It’s weird, but I knew all my kids were boys, almost as soon as the pregnancy began. I never found out until they were born for sure, but I always KNEW. I had all the blue stuff ready and only with Jacob did I falter close to my due date and put a couple of pink things in the drawers just in case.
2.  What are your moral guidelines or what is your religious faith?
I believe in being a good person, doing the right thing.
I believe in “God” whoever or whatever God may be. I have faith based not on any organized religion, but on my inner feelings of peace and love. The “oneness” I feel directly after I ask for guidance, help or relief.
I believe in Hope. I would never have gotten through the last 20 years without it.
I believe in fidelity and love, loyalty and passion.
I believe that I am finally with my soul mate, my intended love, and will stick steadfastly to him until I draw my last breath.
Soulmates. Fitty and I.

Soulmates. Fitty and I.

I believe in humanity. I believe we aren’t all bad. I believe in trying to maintain this planet and keep it “clean” for future generations.
I believe in parenting to the fullest extent of our abilities. We are not here to be our children’s “friends” but to provide a clear moral and ethical blueprint for them to choose their path in life.
I believe in rules and regulations, I follow laws. I believe in authority and the wisdom of elders.
A wealth of wisdom. Four generations in one photo!

A wealth of wisdom. Four generations in one photo!

3.  What do you do in your free time?
I actually have quite a lot of “free” time now that I am an ill person. I have always loved to read, and have now, at the insistence of my partner, added writing to that pastime.
I love the beach, summer, and living by the water. I am endlessly fascinated by nature, and will just sit quietly and observe my beautiful surroundings for hours.
I don’t have much time for television, but love a good movie.
creating a "shot" for Fitty in our front yard, the lake.

creating a “shot” for Fitty in our front yard, the lake.

Beach cricket, a favorite pastime for the whole family

Beach cricket, a favorite pastime for the whole family

again in the front yard playing up to the camera with our dear departed friend, Razor the dog.

again in the front yard playing up to the camera with our dear departed friend, Razor the dog.

Taking a dip at the beach at the end of our road, a secret spot for locals. 4 and 7, back a few years..

Taking a dip at the beach at the end of our road, a secret spot for locals. 4 and 7, back a few years..

4.  What song, television show, film speaks to you, and why?
All time favorite artist without a doubt, is David Bowie. As a teenager he was my hero. I don’t really have a favorite song of his, they are ALL AWESOME! I think he is one of the coolest people ever born, I really do.
The next best thing is Queen for me. I just love Queen’s music, the majestic “Bohemian Rhapsody”and “My Best Friend”, are my all time feel good songs.
I love romantic comedies, but enjoy a good tense thriller just as much. All depends on the mood I’m in.
I’ll never forget watching “Flying High” with my little brother, and laughing so much my stomach hurt the next day. I suppose that was the movie that began my love affair with film.
Like my friend Joey, from Joeyfullystated I just love “Friends”.  You simply cannot go past “Friends” as a TV show. My babies were being born as this show began it’s life, and I would sit and feed and watch and laugh. Later, the mutual love of this show was a real help in developing a bond with one of my beautiful step daughters. (She was at a difficult age, and the shared laughs went a long way in breaking the ice.)
4 and I playing dress ups for the camera

4 and I playing dress ups for the camera

5. What is your favorite animal and why?
When I was a young child, I never wanted a puppy, kitten, bird or fish as a pet. I would ask Magoo, (my mother, so named for her driving abilities and style), for a pet Chimpanzee. I don’t know whether it was because of Tarzan and “Cheetah” or because of the chimps I would frequently see on TV dressed in little dresses or nappies. I can’t remember when the obsession started, but it did.
I was somewhat turned off them at age  7 or 8 when my parents took me to Taronga Zoo and I saw the many chimps in the enclosure throwing pooh at each other, and the watching crowd. I remember thinking that my monkey would never do that, and besides, it would be wearing an adorable little nappy and dress anyway.
I never got my monkey of course, but to this day I am fascinated by the mimicry these animals make of humans. I am always chuffed when I see a monkey, and will watch or read anything about them, anywhere.
I’m also rather partial to dogs. My little doggie Pooh is a part of our family, and is my best friend. She doesn’t know she’s a “pet”, so I won’t tell her if you don’t?
Now you know a little more about me. I wrangled a bit in my head over whether to “name” my kids, but figured it couldn’t do too much harm? Others do.
I’m getting back on my blogging horse, slowly but surely you’ll be hearing more from me. I just had a terrible week after busting loose at the Wedding last weekend. I want to share a few more of my fave photos with you as well. Catch you soon.

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Oh yes I do! From the moment I saw her chubby little face and her thick head of glossy black hair. She was so adorable, like a little fat doll. She grew more and more doll like every day, such a perfect little face, her features so tiny and skin so porcelain! I used to just stare into her face. Everyone was enamored with little 4. She was just that kind of baby, the kind that got attention wherever she went.

like a baby doll

Just like a baby doll

I used to look after her and her brother (2) quite a bit. Each week on Wednesday they would arrive for the whole day, giving their mother a break and giving 3 a couple of playmates for the day. 4 was the shyest little thing too, her face would press into my shoulder whenever anyone spoke to her. She wanted to be carried around a lot, and of course who could deny her that?

4 spoke in the most timid, soft voice, you really had to strain to hear her, and when she did speak loud enough, I often needed 2 to translate. One word I knew just from sheer repetition, and that word was “wa-wa”. This meant she wanted a drink of water, and believe me, this toddler could drink some water. All day long, “wa-wa, shanku?” I was so in love with her, and so proud whenever we went to town. We would often walk down to town the four of us, just for something to do. We’d have a juice at the coffee shop, and meet up with friends. I simply loved to show her off! She was so shy she would never venture away from my knee, whereas 2 and 3 would try to run amok whenever they had a chance.

After many months of coming to my house on a weekly basis without her parents, she began to relax a bit and would play rough games with the boys, but they were always pretty careful with her, as I said, she was tiny, and looked like a china doll! They were so afraid they’d hurt her.

I’ll never forget looking after that little girl, something about her really struck me. I was pregnant with 5 by then, and I longed for a little girl just like her! We formed a precious bond then, one that came in very handy for me later in our lives, when things weren’t quite so easy for us.

1 and 2, with tiny 4 in front.

1 and 2, with tiny 4 in front.

I lost contact with both Fitty and his ex wife around the time when their marriage split up, and for various reasons, we all went our separate ways. Our very close friendship had ended. (Little did I realize then what the future would hold?)

After years of heartbreak and loss, Fitty went on to have 2 more children with his 2nd partner, 7 and 8’s mum. Whom ironically I have also known since she was about 8 years old, (being the daughter of one of my partner’s friends.) Small towns….

Fitty and I would occasionally see each other around, but it was awkward, things had changed and we were no longer the people we were in our first partnership’s having our young families together. I rarely saw his children, but when I did they were withdrawn and shy. It hurt me to have no contact with them. Especially little 4 who I was so fond of.

Fast forward several years, and Fitty and I  (both single and not looking for love at all!) ran into each other on a rather random night out. We kept seeing each other out at various venues, until finally, we became partners. Things moved very slowly for us as we both prioritized our children. Weekends were for the kids, and late week-nights were for us. We went back and forth for years, spending nights at each others houses until finally, I had only 6 left at home, and we decided to move in together. It made sense. I was sick of driving back and forth and so was Fitty.

Stunning at 14/15

Stunning at 14/15

At the same time a 14 year old 4, was struggling with her relationships at home with her mother, and had decided to move in with Fitty too! I talked to her about whether she’d prefer if I didn’t move in, and she said she was fine. I’m fairly sure now, that she wasn’t fine with my moving in at the time, as she was a little distant and cold for a time. Slowly she began to thaw, and I expect the fact that I never pushed her helped a lot. I just sat back and waited for her to come to certain realizations, and she did!

I was rewarded with a most wonderful friend and stepdaughter. Together we shopped and gossiped, watched endless SATC and Friends re-runs, snuggled on the couch with cups of tea. Dreamed and talked of our pasts, futures and other interesting things…We got to know each other all over again, and I just know that bond I made with her as a baby and toddler was what made it so easy for me to get through the tough times we had. I simply loved this girl, and nothing was ever going to change that.

photogenic 4

photogenic 4

4 is a very crafty girl. Her attention to detail and artistic skill are amazing. She creates wonderful things, from personalized Birthday cards for every family member, to pretty drawings, bags and clothing. She is a talented dress-maker, her major work for her Higher School Certificate blew my mind with it’s creativity and excellence. She’s a girlie girl, (finally!), and is always dressed impeccably and styled beyond mere mortal status. I fail to see how anyone could be so beautiful without magic! She loves to dress up, and her father loves to photograph her, she is a natural photographic model. Actually, all our kids are, they all seem to be naturals in front of the camera.

I know that one day I will see her name on a label. I just need to be patient and wait until she has done all the things she wants to do first. I  am hoping all roads will lead her back to her incredible talent. You just can’t ignore talent like that!

4 I love you dearly, you are the closest thing I have to my own daughter, while being my very best friend. I am so proud of the way you have handled yourself since you left us. You’ve come a long way from the girl who was too afraid to answer the phone! Look at you now, Managing a Menswear Shop! I bet you have to answer the phone all day long?

I will always be here for you, no matter what you need. You can count on me. I love you my darling girl.

A cupcake for my cupcake?

A cupcake for my cupcake?