F:  “I can’t find the section text for the “Wahwah” job?”

Me:  “I didn’t touch it!”

F:   “I didn’t say you touched it, I said I couldn’t find it!”

Me: “I didn’t do the doc’s for that job, maybe it’s in the “Weewee” file?”

F:    “Why the fuck do all our client’s names this week begin with “W” anyway?”

He’s right. All the current jobs on our desks are client’s whose surname’s start with “W”. To make it even more confusing, two are the same surname – and similar jobs!

*Fitty checks the client file named “Weewee”.

F:    “Nope, not in “Weewee”.

Me: “Well, I don’t know, maybe FIL knows?”

(FIL has left the building, which he often does without telling me, so I can take a phone call, tell peeps he’s there, then hafta explain how he’s not there anymore.) I’m thankful that Fitty and I sit in the same office – for that reason, and that reason only!

Me: “Maybe it got accidentally deleted? But I gotta tell ya, I didn’t even open that file on the computer, not today, not last week, not for ages.”

F: “Go and look in FIL’s recycle bin?”

Moments later…

M: “Yep, here it is, found it!”

Fitty walks in, squints at the screen, he doesn’t trust me at all.

F:  “How do you know that’s it, it doesn’t even have the name on it?”

Me: ” Because I opened it, you dick! Look it’s right here!”

F:  “Well how do you know it’s the right (latest) one then? Did ya check the date? Huh?”

He’s finding it very difficult to believe I have found the document he’s looking for. My competence is growing by the day, but he still isn’t getting that I can do stuff. By myself. He likes to hold my hand and make sure I do things his way. His way is the only way to do things, even when I get the same result in exactly the same amount of time!

Me:  “I ordered them by date!” *make ridiculous tard-face* “It has the right name and the latest date on it. Should I restore it then? Fitty don’t start clicking stuff! This computer…..”

Fitty begins opening and closing files rapidly, (he simply can’t believe I’ve found the file so efficiently.) I know this is a bad idea on FIL’s computer, because it is a little slow, like me. It gets confused easily, and will throw a spaz if you make too many demands of it. Just like me..

An endless circle fills the screen…

Me:  “Aaaargh for fuck’s sake! Why can’t you just fuck off and trust me?”

F:  “Sorry darling, it’s oka…”

Me: “NOPE! No, fuck off, I’m going home….”

I stomp off down the hallway while he rehearses ways to make this not his fault. (But really I’m just going to the bathroom, calmly, casually – with steam coming outta my head and my arms flailing wildly in the air.)

I know that when I get back to my desk, all I’ll want to do, is settle back into what I was doing before the Wahwah event. I also know that Fitty will have a power point presentation ready in order to show me how it wasn’t his fault. So as I’m coming back into our office –

“I’m sorry Fitty, I’m gonna have to let you go…. You just create too much drama.


*We don’t really have client’s named Wahwah and Weewee, but I so wish we did! We do however have four or maybe five current “W’s” in the job list – which has created some brilliantly confusing moments between the three of us.

Also, I have learned to keep the scissors, and other sharp objects out of my reach at work. *Wink*